Setting goals is find and dandy, but what if the goal conflicts with your values or life-purpose? What if the goal is something that sounds good, is socially acceptable, but really doesn’t light your passions?
You want to get a tan. Your friend Mike is a marine biologist, and he has a great tan. So your goal should be to become a marine biologist, right? Nope. You slept through biology class in high school; it bored you to tears. And you get sea sick. And you are deathly allergic to shellfish. And the last time you tried to get a tan, you got a terrible case of sun-poisoning! In your case, although the goal of becoming a marine biologist might get you the tan you crave, that goal is not a good fit for your preferences and limitations.
How can you choose the “right goals” for you? The first step is to get to know yourself better:
- What are your values?
- What are your passions?
- What are your strengths?
- What is your life’s purpose?
The second step is to build a goal that you can believe is possible. Now I’m not saying dumb down your goal until it’s something so miniscule that it’s not going to stretch you at all (e.g. “I’m going add $5 a month to my savings account”). But if you can not honestly believe that you can learn to speak fluent Swahili by this time next month, no matter how much you meditate on that, it’s not very likely that you will accomplish that goal. So pare that down until it’s just within the realm of belief, but still forces you outside of your comfort zone, for example “I’m going to learn to read and write 200 new Swahili words by March 1st.” I am a firm believer in the intention-manifestation model of goal achievement. Steve Pavlina wrote a good treatment on this several years ago. It’s impossible to form a firm intention if you don’t believe the manifestation (the goal!) is possible. You’ll become your own obstacle. You will subconsciously sabotage your efforts… ‘oh well, I can’t really fly an airplane, so why should I study for my flight school exams?’
If you like this post, please buy me a cup of coffee!
