Goal Girl’s Blog

The Fourth Installment of Five: Time-honored Tips to Boost Your Goal Chasing Success.

Language, Language!

Words have power. What you speak consistently with conviction has a tendency to manifest itself. If you consistently voice your goals and dreams in a way that conveys no confidence that they will be met, you are shooting yourself in the foot. Banish language such as “if i can just lose 30 pounds…” and replace it with statements like “When I’ve lost 30 pounds…”

The old programmer’s adage, GIGO (”Garbage in, Garbage out”) applies to self-speak as well. Your subconscious believes what your mouth feeds it. If your mouth is vomiting forth language that conveys a lack of confidence, a lack of faith in yourself, and a lack of real, burning desire, guess what… you internalize that and live it.

This concept is most widely applied in sports psychology and cognitive therapy: St. Clair and Foster write:

“Whether specific training of self-talk can improve performance is controversial, although recent studies have suggested that task-specific self-talk appears to have a beneficial effect on physical performance. “(1)

Psychologist Donald J. Franklin writes about self-talk at http://www.psychologyinfo.com:

“Self-talk is not bad, or wrong, or a sign of psychological problems. It is normal. But, negative self-talk prevents us from solving problems, and can contribute to a variety of psychological problems, including depression. When faced with a problem, if our self-talk is negative, it can immobilize us. “I can’t do this, I’m just going to foul it up again” or “I’ll probably get fired after they see how incompetent I am.” Psychologists help depressed individuals identify negative self-talk, and also teach them how to challenge these negative statements, and how to replace them with positive self-talk.”(2)

This goes not only for what you say, but what those around you say, what you read, what you listen to.   If your best buddy ‘Al’ is constantly calling you a loser, telling you that his pet rock has a higher IQ, or says that “Well, we’ll never amount to much, but at least we have each other!” then it’s probably time to get some distance between yourself and “Al,” because he’s obviously not on the same journey that you are, one of a goal-getting, success-catching, life-winning freak.   He just wouldn’t understand, and he’s going to drag you down.   Send him a post card or something, but don’t spend all your spare time hanging out with him, ok?  Find yourself a group of folks who speak in positive terms.  Be a person who speaks in positive terms about your abilities and goals.

Read something uplifting.  Find a radio station that has upbeat music and DJ’s that have a positive message.  If you can’t find a radio station, get some inspirational recordings/podcasts to listen to.   If you know of anyone in Amway, or whatever they are calling it now, they actually have a great series of motivational tapes and recommended books… see if you can borrow some.

One project I’ll be working on in March is some upbeat, kick-ass, motivational podcasts.  Maybe even a few self-hypnosis recordings available as podcasts on this site.    I’ll make the initial ones available to subscribers-only so I can get some feedback before I make them generally available.  I’ll have my opt-in-only subscription form up before next Monday, so come back and subscribe if you want to get the first peek at new podcast offerings in March!   I haven’t decided what yet, but I’ll make sure to have a nice bonus for the first twenty subscribers who provide feedback on the recordings!

sources:

(1)
St Clair Gibson A; Foster C. The role of self-talk in the awareness of physiological state and physical performance. Information from Industry. Sports Med. 2007; 37(12):1029-44 (ISSN: 0112-1642)

(2) Franklin, Donald J. Psychology Information Online

The Third Installment of Five: Time-honored Tips to Boost Your Goal Chasing Success.

Goals can be worded as either ‘avoidance goals’ or ‘approach goals’. I can set my goal as “get my projects completed on time to avoid being fired.” or “get my projects completed so that I have time to work on my proposal which might get me a huge bonus or promotion.” Consistently formulating your goals as avoidance rather than approach goals has a negative impact on your motivation to reach said goals.

Timothy Pychyl, an associate professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa Canada says that tipping the scale in favor of avoidance goals relates to less satisfaction with progress on personal goals and feeling less competent in pursuing your goals.

Ergo, by couching your goals in positive terms, you give your motivation and self-esteem a little boost. Looking great on the beach is a better motivator for most people seeking to lose weight than “avoiding a heart attack,” even if the latter is less superficial and vain than the first.

The Second Installment of Five: Time-honored Tips to Boost Your Goal Chasing Success.

The virtuoso tenor stands behind the curtain, tux strait, handkerchief ready, the confidence born of years of preparation for this moment.

The curtain rises. The tenor steps forward, and blinks in shock at the disco ball,dancing poodles and kindergarten chorus singing “The Wheels on The Bus” to the accompanyment of rhythm sticks and triangles.

Do you think that our accomplished opera virtuoso can do his best work under these circumstances?

To maximize the probability of success, control your environment as far as possible. If your goal involves weight loss, hanging out in coffee shops where there are trays of almond croissant and choco-chocolate-chip muffins is probably not going to make your task any easier. I wonder if there are any gym cantinas that have free wireless? No? Can you afford a card with a service plan? If not, maybe you should limit your “hanging out time” and go for a walk. If you have to feel productive while you exercise, download some podcasts on your topic of interest. Or better yet, get a headset with a mic and record your own podcast/peptalk.

If your goal is to grow your content for your blog/article writing campaign/squidoo lenses/hub pages, etcetera, you have to create an environment conducive to writing. You should set an expectation with those who share your home, that at a certain time every day, you are not to be disturbed. Unless you are doing research (and really, research time should be a seperate time allocation), disconnect from the internet to avoid distractions. Gather your tools in one spot so you don’t have to search all over the house for them when it’s time to write. Get a word processing application with a visible word count… this will let give you a visible cue that you are making progress. Set a target word count. If you get to that point and the creative juices are flowing, keep going, but put something on the screen. Don’t edit when you write; do that later! Treat writing like sculpting… chip away what is not part of your article, but you have build the stone first in the case of writing.

Your goal is to learn Spanish? Then go hang out with some folks who speak the language and who are willing to help you! Don’t study the language in a library where you can’t really repeat the words and phrases, because language is as much a physical skill as a mental skill, and requires physical practice. You’re more likely to be successful at it if you actually put your mouth around the words, and actually hear native speakers using the words in context.

So don’t try to swim on a basketball court and don’t fish for shark in a drainage ditch. Really sit and list what environmental elements are likely to contribute or detract from your progressing toward your goal. Maximize the first, minimize the second.

The First Installment of Five: Time-honored Tips to Boost Your Goal Chasing Success.

Stop swimming against the tide! Yes, there are significant advantages to swimming against the tide. Being the one fish swimming left when the rest of the school is swimming right can get you noticed. Being the best at doing something a little different and/or more difficult than the rest of the herd can result in great rewards. For an excellent treatment of this, read Seth Godin’s “The Dip”.

In some situations though, finding a school of fish going the direction you want to go can also reap benefits. This is especially true at the beginning of your quest when you are in more of a student mode than a teaching mode. Associating yourself somehow with some big fish who’re going where you are going (or have already been there) and know the way can greatly flatten the learning curve. Sometimes the collective energy of a group of like-minded-people can contribute to your own passion (just be careful that you are only borrowing their passion and knowledge, don’t let the herd make decisions for you).

How do you find a “big fish”? First of all, go where they go. Twitter is a great place for this. Do a Twitter search to find out who is talking about your topic of interest. Then search on that person to see who is talking about them. If someone is being retweeted or discussed on a frequent basis, then a lot of folks are finding value in what they are saying. Unfortunately, not everyone you admire in the real world has mastered Twitter. I’ve had to unfollow a couple of ‘real world’ gurus whose books and lectures I loved, because they used bots to spam Twitter and provided nothing of value to me. Not naming names. If you happen to follow them, you’ll see for yourself!

You can also search blogs for people who have authority in your area of interest. Google’s Blog search or the Do-Follow Blog Directory are good places to start. If a blog really addresses topics pertinent to your goal, join the discussion. Make comments that add value. Ask questions.

Often finding someone knowledgeable in your area will also lead you to a group of like-minded people. I liked what Jodie Petals had to say about making Squidoo lenses, so I read more of her lenses and started following her on Twitter. That lead me to Jennifer Ledbetter, aka “PotPieGirl’s” One Week Marketing, a content marketing strategy. Eventually this lead me to join Wealthy Affiliate, which is a great place to pick the brains of good folks like Travis Sagos, Jennifer and Jodie.

Thought you all would like to know that the new Amazon Kindle 2 is due to ship later this month!   Ok, I resisted the first go ’round, but with the increased storage, Amazon paying the cost of wireless connectivity, and better display… I’m putting my order in right after I finish this post…

The last release sold out very quickly and the waiting list was very long, so here’s your chance to pre-order early starting today ($359):

Here is what Amazon says about the new release of it’s Kindle ebook reader:

New Features & Enhancements
Slim & Lightweight: Just over 1/3 inch and 10.2 ounces
Books in under 60 seconds: Get books delivered in less than 60 seconds; no PC required

Improved Display: Reads like real paper; now boasts 16 shades of gray for crisp images and text; even reads well in bright sunlight

Longer Battery Life: 25% longer battery life; read for days without recharging

More Storage: Take your library with you; holds over 1,500 books

Faster Page Turns: 20% faster page turns

Read-to-Me: Text-to-Speech feature means Kindle can read every book, blog, magazine, and newspaper out loud.

No Wireless Bills: No monthly wireless bills, data plans, or commitments. Amazon pays for Kindle’s wireless connectivity so you won’t see a monthly wireless bill.

Large Selection: Over 230,000 books, plus U.S. and international newspapers, magazines and blogs available

Low Book Prices: New York Times Best Sellers and New Releases $9.99, unless marked otherwise

I’ve installed a WP plugin which removes the “nofollow” attribute. What does this mean? If you include a link in your comments on this blog, Google will follow them back to whatever page you are linking to. The more links back to your blog, lens, landing page, etcetera, the more Google loves your pages. It’s just my way of saying thank you for posting thoughtful, insiteful, discussion-provoking comments on http://ThatGoalGirl.com/blog/ Because this will encourage some spammers to comment, I also moderate comments on this blog!

If you are in the mood to reciprocate, please blogroll me or otherwise link to this blog.

Cheers,
-M

Setting goals is find and dandy, but what if the goal conflicts with your values or life-purpose?  What if the goal is something that sounds good, is socially acceptable, but really doesn’t light your passions?

You want to get a tan.  Your friend Mike is a marine biologist, and he has a great tan.  So your goal should be to become a marine biologist, right?   Nope.   You slept through biology class in high school; it bored you to tears.  And you get sea sick. And you are deathly allergic to shellfish.  And the last time you tried to get a tan, you got a terrible case of sun-poisoning!  In your case, although the goal of becoming a marine biologist might get you the tan you crave, that goal is not a good fit for your preferences and limitations.

How can you choose the “right goals” for you?   The first step is to get to know yourself better:

• What are your values?
• What are your passions?
• What are your strengths?
• What is your life’s purpose?

The second step is to build a goal that you can believe is possible.  Now I’m not saying dumb down your goal until it’s something so miniscule that it’s not going to stretch you at all (e.g. “I’m going add $5 a month to my savings account”).   But if you can not honestly believe that you can learn to speak fluent Swahili by this time next month, no matter how much you meditate on that, it’s not very likely that you will accomplish that goal.   So pare that down until it’s just within the realm of belief, but still forces you outside of your comfort zone, for example “I’m going to learn to read and write 200 new Swahili words by March 1st.”    I am a firm believer in the intention-manifestation model of goal achievement.    Steve Pavlina wrote a good treatment on this several years ago. It’s impossible to form a firm intention if you don’t believe the manifestation (the goal!) is possible.   You’ll become your own obstacle.  You will subconsciously sabotage your efforts… ‘oh well, I can’t really fly an airplane, so why should I study for my flight school exams?’